I never thought that I would see the day when I would be able to write this particular blog.........and yet here we are.

Finally, after years and years of heartache and struggle we have been blessed with the most precious gift,

a family.

There are no words to describe this feeling.......

This last week has been the most surreal experience of our lives.........

We are parents (okay, almost)

Our son will be in our care, we hope within a month........Until that time, we will visit him as much as we possibly can and wait with eager anticipation for the moment when he can come home for good.

Because of that and desperately wanting to protect our families privacy we have decided to stop writing on our blog.

We have saved and laminated every page along this amazing journey for our children to read when they are older......so they will both know how very much they were loved before they were even here.

From both of us, thank you to everyone for all of your love and support over the years.......it helped carry us through some difficult days.

Much love,

Antz & Crys

As usual, time passes by so quickly......one minute blends into the next.
Last weekend we went up to Timmins to celebrate mom and dad's 40th wedding anniversary.
We had an intimate family dinner (all aunts and uncles) at a resort in Timmins.
It was so nice to have all the family together.......(which is never an easy task)
We left on Friday and had to head home first thing on Sunday morning...so it was a short trip.
Here's a photo of all of us at the restaurant!!

This week has been a whirl wind for us....both busy at work.

On Friday we had our worker for our domestic adoption over to the house. Everything went better than we could have anticipated.

It was absolutely perfect!!

Due to privacy reasons I don't want to say very much here.....but suffice to say that things are moving along wonderfully.

As soon as we feel comfortable sharing any info (and when there is more info to share) we will do so.

Until that time, keep your fingers crossed for us.....

This weekend we spent time hiking....enjoying the last bit of fall that there is left.

Here is a gorgeous photo from our walk......

Welcome Mia!!!

Happy 40th Anniversary

Mom & Dad!!

Happy Birthday Laura!

Still beautiful Sis at .....25..........ya that's it......25!!!!

Miss ya!

This photo is from a dinner and dance we went to last weekend at the Legion with a few other couples. One of our staff members is a member of our local legions Colour Guard and they were having a fund raiser so our Chapel bought a table. What a great evening we all had, complete with much dancing and laughing!!

Well, It has been awhile since I have been able to post on here.....we have just been so busy!!

Work has been hectic and we have been trying to get the baby room finished before the Children's Aid visit today.

But, as luck would have it, we got the call today that our worker was sick and would not be able to make the visit. Understanding being sick, it still sucked!

We had been so anxious for this day....that build up that does not leave you prepared for the letdown. Her secretary told us that she would be rescheduling with us for next week......that provided much relief amongst the disappointment.

But the good news........the baby room is all done!!!!!!

We finally found the most perfect bedding for the crib....it's a Boyd's Bear set. Coincidentally, I have forever collected Boyd's Bears and have always had a love for teddy bears. So, the second I laid my eyes on it, we both knew it was the one.

And from there, everything came together.

The room that we chose to use for our little one that will be coming to us through our domestic adoption he room was one of our spare bedrooms that had been painted a mahogany colour. Since we will be moving shortly after our adoption happens, we did not want to put too much work into the room. Wanting to avoid putting on a million coats of paint to cover the dark walls, we decided to utilize, match and soften what was there. .........

And voila....

A perfect bedroom for our little one.

I tried to take photo's of the room, but with the shape of it, I can only take 1/4 at a time....which looks silly.

What I can get a photo of is, our beautiful crib.........

We just love our little one's bedroom.....

We walk into the room all the time just to surround ourselves with the comfort of our future.

This weekend we are heading home to visit Ant'z parents in Timmins. It is Mom & Dad's 40th wedding anniversary on Sunday and we are having a celebration family dinner for them.

Mom & Dad's siblings, along with their spouse's will be present.....us us kids and one grandson!! (Sadly, because miles separate us, Darrin, Robin and Jack can't be present.) sigh

It will be nice to be home and spend time with the whole family.......it's not often that is able to happen.

The above picture is two of our three pumpkins that we carved with our nephew Tyler when he came for a sleep over this week.We had a night of laughs, silliness and cuddles........the most perfect thing to come home to after a day at the office.

Yippee.......11 months down!

When we started our adoption journey to bring our daughter home from China, we were so certain that last year would be our last Christmas without children. There was no doubt in our mind that we would be leaving for China around the Holiday Season!!!

Here that time is just around the corner and we are so far away from that reality.

China is continuing to increase the wait times for referrals. At present they have finalized the adoptions of families who were logged in by November 30, 2005! That means they are a whole year away from where we are at. With referring, at best, 10 days per month, it means in reality we are another 2.5 - 3 years away!!

The sliver lining.....when we do finally hold her in our arms, all of this wait will be a distant memory for us.

In the meantime, we will continue to celebrate every month that brings us closer and closer to this dream........

Another weekend has come and gone.........

It's amazing how fast the time goes!!
This weekend we did a lot of little jobs around the house that needed doing, went hiking and Saturday night we went over to my bro's for dinner with mom.
It was the first we had seen the happy couple since getting back from their honeymoon Sunday night. They both look fabulous, tanned and in love!! Newlyweds!
Michael wanted Antz to help him put together the surround sound and test the rum he brought back from Jamaica. So, from 8 till 1 am they drank rum and coke's and tried to figure out how the wireless system worked.
It was not an easy project I tell ya,.....you have to be a tech whiz to figure all that crap out!

The best part about the weekend though was that we bought our crib today. We have been looking for awhile at crib's and the style that we wanted. But today, we took the plunge and made the purchase.......we are grinning from ear to ear.
Because we are at the end stage of our domestic adoption, we wanted to have the room ready for our agency visit in a week and a half.

It's so exciting to think that we are going to actually put the room together. We have been holding off for fear that we would somehow jinx ourselves. Our adoption journey has been such a roller coaster, how could we not have hidden anxiety about it??

But, we are so ready for all of this and I cant wait to see the room put together.
The crib was the kind that we always wanted to get.......it converts to a day bed and/or a double bed! It's a beautiful solid cherry wood and it will look perfect with the other furniture in the room!

Isn't it gorgeous!!!!!

Patti & I in line


Saturday morning Patti and I (along with Antz and others) lined up at the crack of dawn to go to a book sale put on by a publishing company.

A girl we work with, Liana, got us the invite to go to this once a year warehouse sale. It started at 10, but she said that people start lining up at 7 in the morning......

linning up......WHAT???%$^&

When I told hubby that we had to get up 6:30 to get ready to go stand in line for a few hours to get into a book sale he looked at me like I was drunk!

But, low and behold.....there we were outside, standing in line on Saturday morning with our Timmies. And it was so worth it.

All kids books were 1-3 dollars.......big, beautiful,new,recent & classic books!!

So, we stocked up.......books of all different shapes and sizes and for all age groups.

We even found some adoption books for kids!!

It was mgical......like being set free in the worlds largest chapters....a dream come true.

So, now we have a little mini library for our little ones!

I started in my new position at the Funeral Home......Director of Operations.....

Wow, it sure has been an overwhelming week.....

It is a very large chapel and though I have been working there for the last few years, I have been acting as a Funeral Director, Specializing in estate issues. So, I did not really pay that much attention to the coming and goings of all the staff and their daily duties.

Being thrust into the role of now being in charge of co-ordinating those daily duties and making sure the day is staffed accordingly can be a tricky task in an uncertain, last minute changing sort of environment. On top of that, I have been making funeral arrangements for people in advance of their death for the last five years and now I am making arrangements for families after the death has occurred. It feels like it has been forever since I have done this...and working with a new computer system......it has been a hectic two weeks.

I can say though, that everything is going really well. Of course there is some resistance from some of the staff with the new changes, but that is to be expected. Some people don't take well to changes and with the implementation of my new role has been coming some new policies and procedures in order to stream line the day to day operations.

It has been a challenge in which I am thriving in and enjoying every day!!

Last week we had the privilege of babysitting my nephew Tyler for the week while his mom & dad were on their honeymoon in Jamaica.
We were so excited to be "fill in parents" for a week!!
Tyler was an absolute angel child, he is always so polite and well behaved it is never a problem having him over.
Both Antz and I enjoyed every minute of his stay.....
Of course it was an eye opener, realizing how much work children are.....its constant non stop.
From the moment we got in the door from work to the moment we went to bed it was go go go.
With us both working full time, it was a bit of a juggling act.....when we got home from work Antz would go over homework with him while I made dinner. By the time we ate and cleaned up after dinner it was already well into the evening. We had play time inside and outdoors and before you knew it, it was bedtime.
His uncle Antz tucked him into bed every evening and then they would read a book together.
When they were done, I would go in for a bit of goofing around and good night snuggles. It was the most precious time of the day with him.
We were both sad when he was gone, the house seemed so quiet when we got home from work.
The week made us anxious more than ever for the arrival of our family.......We are so ready for the next chapter and have been waiting a very long time for this....

Last week we also got the much anticipated call from our worker with our domestic adoption!!! All of our paperwork is complete and the file has been placed with her to come to the house for the last two home visits (to update our previous homestudy to a "SAFE" homestudy. Once this is done, we are then considered approved adopted parents.
We are hopeful the time frame from our approval to referral is short.

As for our international adoption, we recently received a letter from our agency saying that at present families are waiting 23 months for referrals and this wait is expected to increase.
That means we have another year or two ahead of us, with only being logged in for almost 11 months now. Sigh

In closing, here are a few pictures of us hiking with Tyler and mom.........what a great day that was!!! We also went through a corn maze, but unfortunately I forgot to bring my camera.....it would have been priceless to capture the smile on Tyler's face. He and I were pretending to be warriors running through the corn maze..........running off the course, through the corn giggling so loud.............It was a day filled with fun and excitement...leaving both Tyler and I fast asleep in the car on the ride home!!!

Happy Anniversary Laura & Maz!!

Wish that you guys were closer so we could celebrate your anniversary together.

We miss you both and our beautiful niece.....

love you guys!

Hugs and kisses

It's official, my bro is married.....
Congrats Michael & Lisa!

The wedding went off without a hitch and it was beautiful!!
It was a wonderful celebration which was centred around love & commitment.
My adorable little nephew Tyler was the ring bearer and it was heart melting to see him up at the alter participating in the wedding ceremony beside his dad.
All the jitters I had about being the MC left after two rum and coke's and with the help of my Uncle Dave telling me to picture everyone in the audience nude....and then every time I would look in his direction he would be grinning from ear to ear.....what a character!
I was honoured to be asked and it allowed me the opportunity to say a few words to my brother & to let him know how proud of him we all are.
The happy couple left after midnight and were getting ready to head off to Jamaica the next day!!! While they were gone we are looking after Tyler for the week!!
It's a great opportunity for us to spend some quality time with the little guy.......
Here are some of the 280 photo's I took at the wedding.....

The happy couple

Mom & Tyler

The new family

Mom, Michael & I

The beautiful bride

The wedding party

us

I can't believe that it is October already........

It feels like just yesterday I was saying "I can't believe it is September already". Though I am always sad to see the hot temperatures leave at the same time it is refreshing to feel the fall breeze! The crispness in the air when you walk outside and the sound of the leaves crunching under your feet.....does it get any better?

Well, here it is one week before my bro's wedding............I am sitting in my office supposedly finishing my MC speech and here I am blogging.......

Nothing like procrastinating.


This is not going to be easy for me to do as I am an emotional person. I was the maid of honour for my sisters wedding and when I stood up to give my speech I got through about 30 seconds before I started to cry.

How uncool is it to have a bumbling crying MC........mortifying!


With the usual siblings spats aside, my bro and I have been very close for a very long time. We went through the highs and lows of our teen and twenty something years together, being so close in age. Through the good and the bad, we have come out of all our family dynamics close siblings and friends. So, I am honoured to be his MC.........but truthfully with the wedding days away I am getting nervous as heck.......what did I get myself into???

Talking in front of all of those people????

And to boot, because my brother and I are both in the funeral business as is his soon to be wife, there will be many of my fellow funeral directors there........no, no pressure at all......


I am praying a glass or two of wine makes all the jitters go away!!!


This weekend we hung out with my bro and his son, Tyler......Lisa had to work for the weekend. We had a BBQ with mom....always so nice being with family. We spent the night around the fire chatting and drinking coffee together....talking wedding details. My bro seems cool as a cucumber and very anxious....


On Sunday Antz and I went hiking and then spent the rest of the day outdoors together.
It is a busy week for us, so we had an early night on Sunday......sleepy time right after we watched the season premier of Brothers & Sisters......that is the best show. It makes me want to have 6 children!!!


It has been years since I have enjoyed a show as much as I do this one.....if your not already watching it, than you must check it out on Sundays.


Here are a few new pictures we got of hubby and I!!

Happy Fall!!

That's it......we're finally into the double digits!

10 months down already......how exciting!! I know that at the beginning of this journey we thought we would be going to China any time now and here we are still so far off.

Sometimes, its crazy what life has in store for us...........you think your on the path to get to where you want to be and then all of sudden a huge tree falls in your way and you have to learn a new way to get there.....

Most times it's infuriating and frustrating.....but in this case there is no choice but to sit back and allow it to happen as it does. As much as I want to go over and bring Gracie back, there is absolutely nothing in my power I could ever do to control that timing.

If there was, I would move mountains to have it happen.

This weekend we plan to get organized for my brothers wedding, which is next weekend......I still can't believe that!! It always seemed like it was so far away and now here we are 7 days away!!

I am starting to get VERY nervous about being an MC........what the heck did I agree too. I am not overly prepared for this.......I don't have my speech memorized yet.....it seems every time I have it down pat what I want to say I get discombobulated!!

I am keeping my fingers tightly crossed that I will be awesome at this..........I want everything about the day to be perfect for my bro!

Last weekend we had our friends Steve & Kat over along with my bro and his fiance.

I had the privilege of working with Steve a few years ago and we formed a great friendship. As couples, we have a great time with one another....an easy friendship.

And now, it seems I will once again be working with him. He recently accepted my position at the Funeral Home.

A few weeks ago I resigned from my position as Pre Need Director. For the past few years I have been managing the pre arrangement/estate department of the Funeral Home...and after years of stress and huge budgets I decided it was time to move in a different direction. This was a tough decision to make, financially and career wise......as I have been very successful over the last few year.

But, thankfully, I was offered an amazing position at the same Funeral Home. I will be the Director of Operations and the primary arranger. Basically, I am in charge of the making sure the work gets done by the staff and I do the majority of arranging the funerals with the family when the death has occurred.

I am elated...........

This is a great opportunity for me, career wise, and I am feeling very blessed to be in this position!

I am truthfully a little nervous...........but I know it will all be okay. It has been a few years since I have been involved in that aspect of our industry, but I am sure it's much like riding a bike....you never really forget.

So, work is about to get even better....with me in my new role and Steve in his!!

We had an amazing evening with the four of them.....it was filled with non stop laughter!! We sat by the fire most of the night drinking and acting like twenty years olds!!

It sure does feel good to do that every once in awhile.....

After a few drinks I got on the swing that we have hanging from our tree in the back yard and Antz and Michael decided they would see how high and fast they could push me. As if going 500 feet in the air wasn't bad enough, they had to have a game of dodge ball with me in the middle. As you can imagine this was a disaster waiting to happen....at least from my perspective.

Sure enough, a twirl on the swing too far and the soccer ball comes flying right at my face.

Thankfully, the drinks had numbed my face and initially I was stunned but not hurt. Getting off the swing, I was so dizzy and disoriented from spinning that I fell to the ground and scratch up my side. Being superwoman that I thought I was after 2 drinks.......I finished off the evening by getting on the trampoline. Us adults on the trampoline bouncing one another around like popcorn!!!!!!

To say I was sore the next day would be an understatement.....

What were we thinking!!!

Antz and I are not big drinkers and we are usually in bed by 10 pm. So, to have our company leave after 3 in the morning was rough!

We sure did feel our age on Sunday!!

Congrats Steve on your new position!

Michael roasting marshmallows a la carte

Mike & I in a cream pie fight........


Pie Fight Champ

The six of us

Mom & Dad were finally back in the city on business and stayed a few extra days for a visit. We decided that we had to take them to the Lantern Festival, knowing they had never seen anything quiet like it.

We knew that mom, who is a Christmas guru would just love the lights!!

And it really was breathtaking....

To start the evening off we went to the Mandarin for dinner and ate so much that it made all the walking at the Festival both necessary and uncomfortable!

The displays were so beautiful and informative.......it felt so nice to submerse ourselves & mom & dad in our daughters culture.

It's a rare opportunity to see this, and I am thankful that we were able to do so.....

Us with mom & dad

Antz and his mom